Monday, June 2, 2014

Alright people, I'm back.

I know it seems like I take sabbaticals from this blog very often, and that is definitely true. I'm not a writer by trade, and writing isn't always the most efficient use of my time. However, I should have more time for this old thing now, since I'm officially a college graduate. I graduated a couple of weeks ago with a Magna Cum Laude BS in Security Operations. I know you're probably thinking "Security degree???wtf???", but don't worry about it. I'm not. I already have a fairly well-paying job in the field. My career and my advancement in it were never dependent upon my graduation. I went to college for a couple reasons that were independent of my career goals.

First, and most importantly, I was paid to go to school. I utilized my post-9/11 GI Bill, which paid me a small stipend (on top of tuition and books) to go. I'd be dumb to turn down free money. Second, I went because I come from a very poor family. Nobody else on either side of my family, except maybe removed a few degrees, has graduated from college. My cousins are mostly drug addicts, and my brother is a mechanic. He's good at his job, but has no interest in academic pursuit. I went because it gave me a sense of fulfillment, and I had to prove to myself that I could do it. I sometimes struggle with self-esteem issues, so the fact that I accomplished something completely unprecedented in my family cannot be understated. You're goddamn right I'm proud of it. But, that isn't the only thing that drove me to complete my degree. I probably would have quit if it hadn't been for the birth of my daughter and the death of my sister. In many ways, I wanted to honor my sister's memory by completing something that she had faith in. I also read that children who's parents went to college are something like a billion times more likely to go themselves. I want my daughter to have ever advantage possible.

Anyways, back to jiu jitsu. I've gotten up to attending class three times a week fairly regularly. I've been feeling a little impotent in the BJJ area, since everybody seems to whoop my ass with ease. I know I'm getting better, but two days a week just isn't enough to improve as rapidly as I'd like. I'm not really built for grappling, like some other people I work out with, so I have to train hard to be good. Jiu jitsu is not really an area where I can afford to be lazy. I'm honestly just going to start attending class as much as I can get by with. I just get frustrated when some 16 year old kid comes in and can nearly finish me with very little training. I guess I'm just used to going against very controlled blue and purple belts, and when a strong new guy comes in and smashes...I just don't handle it well. Unfortunately there aren't very many other people in my skill range for me to spar with. I mostly just get my ass whooped. When the strong, spazzy newb comes in and smashes me, I just feel bad about having to work so hard just to not tap.

Though, I guess that survival mindset is a good thing to develop.

My goals in the future are continue to lose weight. I was doing good before my final semester, in which I put on about 10 lbs. Being out of school takes a significant amount of stress and gives me a lot more time to focus on the important stuff, like not being a fatty and working out. I hope to lose 20 lbs by December. I know that is pretty ambitious, because I'm not really that large. I'm 5'8 and weight less than 180, but I'd like to get down to my ideal weight, which is around 155.

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