Monday, June 22, 2015


It has been a long time since I’ve written. There are, of course, lots of reasons for that…but its mostly that I’m lazy, not a naturally gifted writer, and I haven’t had a helluva lot to say. It was a bit easier in the beginning, when every class was a new revelation. Now, however, my progress is much more plodding.

So, a few months ago I got promoted to blue belt. I knew it was coming, but it was still a great feeling. My promotion was two days before my two year BJJ anniversary. As I expected, nothing really changed. The same people who beat my ass before still do. We don’t have a lot of white belts in our school, but I’ve noticed a slight uptick in their intensity. I’m still a very lazy jiu jitsuer, so I tend to be defensive. I still get newb-smashed by the big, strong white belts. I still have a very hard time actually getting submissions.

Over the last few months, I’ve been having a flare up of my fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome, so I haven’t been going to class as much. I’ve also put on weight. I’m back up to 180 lbs. I am still averaging twice a week, but its been hard to find the strength to go. 

So, that’s kinda been the situation the last couple of months.

I’ve also gotten some new gear. My favorite gi has been my 93 Brand Goose. After a little over a year of fairly heavy use, it was definitely showing its age. Its collar was fraying pretty badly, explosing the rubber core beneath it. It had also faded from a beautiful, dark, steel gray to a very light, almost white, shade. So, I decided that with my promotion to blue belt, I’d invest in a good gi.

I decided on the Oss Rebel gi. Ya know, the star wars one. I love star wars.  It is a super nice product, but I found that it is a bit too large, even after shrinking it down. I feel a bit frumpy rolling in it, but it is well built, and absolutely gorgeous. I would highly recommend it, but watch the sizing. You might want to order a size lower. 

I also ordered a Killer Bees gi material belt. For the price, it is an awesome product. It’s tough, and it stays tied. I was, of course, given a belt when I got promoted, but it was a bit too big, and didn’t shrink much when I washed it. The killer bees belt did shrink, but I bought a size larger to account for that. I wash my belt religiously, so I read into the shrinkage on it. After a few washes and dries, I’d say that there was 10-15% shrinkage, which is pretty significant. 

So that brings me to the present. Last month, I was out of class for a few weeks, due to my annual military commitments. When I got back, I have felt horrible. That said, I think I’ve actually been rolling better. At least a few times, I’ve come into the gym and dominated people who usually make me look like a child rolling with his father. On one particular open mat session, I submitted our senior purple belt a couple of times. Of course, he submitted me way more. Afterwards, he pulled me aside and said something along the lines of “I want you to know that those submissions were real. You set them up, I didn’t give them to you, and I defended them. They were well done.” 

And then, I went back to rolling like a white belt at my very next class. 

Last weekend we had a seminar from the school that we’re affiliated with. These seminars are always really good, and we learn a lot. The black belt who holds them usually brings a couple of his senior students, in this case two purple belts, and they focus on basic stuff. This seminar was really good, because our black belt, Darin, also came. Darin is weird in that he doesn’t want anything to do with ranking people up, running a school, or any politics. He just wants to come in, teach a couple classes a week, and stay sharp. He has a very, very tactical mind, and his approach is much different than the other black belt. 

Anyways,  we reviewed mount retention techniques and went into a few attack sequences. We always do active drills after the main seminar portion. So, we start with three people on the mat, their partners start in a position. Once the conditions of the drill are met (sweep, pass, submit, escape, etc.) a new partner comes in. The person on the mat stays for a full five minute round with fresh people cycling in. We do this over several positions. The black belts use this as a way to evaluate people.
At the end of the day, I got a stripe on my blue belt…though I don’t really feel like I deserve it. Several people didn’t get any promotion, so I felt kinda like I’d cheated them. I know its silly, I just feel like I’ve been missing so much class, and my skills are still really hit or miss.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Well, shit.

I competed for the very first time this weekend, and it didn't go well for me.

It was a very small, local tournament that was ran by a TKD/BJJ school. They did a good job at keeping things running on time, but the lack of competitors probably had something to do with that. Regardless, they did a good job, and are super nice guys. I like it because it had a very open ruleset. Pretty much the only illegal move was heelhooks in the gi. This would eventually be a problem for me.

We got there early and weighed in. I was at 175 lbs. It was a round robin tournament, so the weight classes were just brackets of four guys closest in weight. This was also not good for me, since I was the smallest guy in the division, and the heaviest was 200 lbs.

My first match was against the guy closest to weight to me. He was a tall guy (i'm short), and was skilled. We started off with both of us trying to get some take downs, with neither person getting the advantage. I pulled open guard, and nearly got a sweep. He tried to pass and I got my closed guard. I held him in closed guard for a few minutes, trying to set up submissions. I worked for an armbar, but it wasn't very tight and he had long arms. He escaped and passed to halfguard. He passed to mount, but I nearly immediately reversed him. That's all I really remember. We jockied for position for awhile, and at one point I took his back. I didn't get points because he blocked my hook. He won by 2 points or something.

My second match was short. It was against the big guy. We started off, and I grabbed his lapel and yanked. He didn't fuckin' budge. That's when I decided to pull guard. I broke his posture quickly, but he grabbed my lapel and started trying to cross collar choke me. That wasn't a problem. I was going to work for an armbar, but he switched to a can-opener. I pealed his hands off, and he kept going for the can-opener. The second or third time, I felt a popping in my lower back, and my neck started burning. He went for it again, and I tapped.

My final match I really should have won. I started with a really good take down, and he caught me in half-guard, but I got too high up and he swept me. I got him in guard and worked for chokes. Again, I went for an armbar and that allowed him to pass. We rolled around a bunch, and he won by one point. I couldn't be as mobile as I wanted, because my back was really fucking hurting.

My coach told me that I really beat myself on this competition, and I agree. I hate competing, and I didn't want to be there. I'm somewhat embarrassed that I didn't win any matches, but I also learned a lot. Its hard not to be disappointed, so I won't even try.

I wasn't really prepared for the intensity of the matches. They came at me much harder than I went at them. After one six minute match, I felt like I'd rolled for hours. My hands were shaking and I felt sick.

If I compete again, I'll have to get my head in it. I simply wasn't in shape, mentally or physically. I was definitely the most out of shape person there, and honestly that isn't a good feeling. I'll just have to work harder, and then decide if competing is right for me.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

The Scent (and slight bullying)

Last week, I trained 5 days, and it felt good. This week, I have the flu.

One day last week, a couple of things happened. The first, I got complimented on how well I was controlling the back. I actually put a purple belt to sleep with a bow and arrow when we were doing back drills. The second was that I participated in some light bullying.

There is a guy in our gym who comes to train once or twice a month. He started roughly the same time as me, but I'm much more consistent. Last week, he came in. We were doing positional sparring, specifically from the back. I started in his back, and he immediately started to defend by grabbing my thumb.

I calmly told him that he should rely on small joint manipulation to defend that position. He immediately used his overly long fingernails on my hand. No serious damage was done, but he did draw blood. At the sight of my blood, I got pissed off and moved into a very painful bow and arrow. I consciously got the lapel onto his chin just to make it a little more painful. This dude has been warned about his fingernails before, and I got really pissed off that he wanted to use them as a weapon.

I know that these defenses are acts of desperation and a lack of skill, but I still got really pissed.

During open rolling, he again used his fingernails against me. This time he was trying to open my guard, and dug his fingernails into my abdomen. I've never armbarred somebody that hard before. By then, I was just pissed off. I tapped the guy like 6 times in five minutes.

Afterwards, I talked to our main instructor, a purple belt, about the incident. He said he noticed the fingernails and talked to him about it too. I apologized for being rough on the guy, saying that I hope that my actions didn't cost us a student. The purple belt told me he didn't care if that guy left, because he's a huge douche.

Then we started talking about how easy it was for me to dominate this guy. I told him its easy for me to lose sight of my own progress, because I don't train with other white belts a lot. He told me that he actually considers me a blue belt, we're just waiting on the next rank evaluation in February. He said he wished he could promote me sooner, but that's not how our association works.

He then told me that he can tell I've "caught the scent" of being a blue belt, and that its shown in my motivation and skill level. I've definitely gotten better, and I'm definitely more excited than I have been in a while. He told me he wanted me to compete before I got promoted, so I registered for a local tournament later this month. It looks like they're going to combine the white and blue belt divisions, so I'm a little nervous. Still, I'm excited to put it out there.

My wife and I are also expecting our second child this year! So big changes in 2015

Tuesday, December 9, 2014


I'm a shitty blogger. I just don't have a lot of time for this shit. I'm not quitting though.

So, where have I been? Mainly not training as much as I'd like. I'm still getting 2-3 session a week, which works for me. Last week, I didn't go at all because I had some sort of weird rash on my arm. I think it is some allergic reaction, but I don't want somebody to get some sort of necrosis because of me. I'm starting back tonight.

I have made A LOT of progress in my jiu jitsu game since my last post. I've traveled, and trained with new people. I've started getting the hang of takedowns and having an active guard. I've gotten pretty decent at sweeps. I still suck at finishing people, but i'm cool with that. A couple months ago, I was honored to receive the fourth and final stripe on my white belt. I know that Brian doesn't give that shit out lightly, so I'm very pleased. I also acknowledge that I have a lot of work to do. I think I'm on track to meet my goal of being a blue belt within two years.

Brian noted to Paul that I need to work on scrambles and getting more submissions. I'm decent at surviving, but even against our new, athletic white belts, I have trouble. One thing that Brian seemed to be pleased with was my takedown ability. We're a Carlson School, so he hates to see guard pulling. Honestly, I'm going to be working on my scrambles and submissions, but I'm not too concerned with my progress. For me, progress is having fun. I don't want to fight UFC, and I don't really care about rank. The color of my belt isn't going to change who can and can't submit me.

Realistically though, I know its something that's coming, and I do want to be worthy of that honor. I have also decided that I should at least do one competition at white belt. As such, I'll be doing AGC in Ohio in January. I'm hoping that spurs me to put in the hard work to improve my trouble areas.

In other news, one of the reasons I haven't had time to do BJJ is that we've been having trouble with my daughter. She's two, and doesn't talk at all. For a long time, we hoped that she would talk on her own, and hoped that there wasn't a serious issue. Like most parents, we see the best in her. However, it got to the point that we couldn't ignore that she wasn't like most kids. She doesn't know things most kids know, she doesn't answer to her name or talk, and doesn't play like most kids play.

She was diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, and possibly autism. While we think that this is something that we can definitely overcome, I've had to stay home a little more to help out with her therapies.

I am pleased to say in the past three months she's made IMMENSE progress. I credit some of this to the therapies she's been doing, but also we changed some things. Mainly, we started giving her a fish oil supplement. Within a week of giving her the fish oil, we saw noted improvements in coordination, cognition, and every other developmental area. She still doesn't talk, but she is vocal...she'll get there. She actually answers to her name now, and is much more social. Honestly, see her go from, essentially, a baby to an independent little toddler makes me want to cry. (But I won't, because I'm super manly and don't know how)

Anyways, that's my update. I hope to start posting more again.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Oh Hai

I know, I've been a shitty blogger and haven't written for awhile. Sorry, bros, I've been busy.  I was out of town for like a month, and I just got back a couple of weeks ago. I'm still trying to get back into the swing of work, family, and training.

While I was gone, I fully expected to have no opportunity to train in BJJ. I was at an Army course in the middle of nowhere. I was surprised, and happy, to meet a purple belt that trains out of New Jersey. He is an MMA fighter who is in incredible shape. We got to roll three times in the month...but that's better than nothing. He was equally pleased to have somebody to roll with.

We had to improvise training space, because they didn't have actually training mats available to us. The first time we went into one of those old Army tire pits (shredded tires that creates a soft surface for conducting physical training). That was actually fun, but the rubber was very dirty and some got in my mouth. Horrible experience.

The training was good though, and I learned a few tricks. I got to roll with somebody with an unorthodox style, and actually surprised him a bit with some of my moves. Never submitted him, but came close a few times, and he had to work to get subs on me. That's all you can ask for as a white belt.

Since I've been back, I've only gotten into the gym a few times. I've been doing stuff like retiling my kitchen floor and working late. The beginning of fall is always my busiest time at work, and I've had to work late a few nights. Or I've just been too tired to go to the gym.

I'm trying to pick up my training schedule. I am a three-stripe white belt, and I'll probably get striped next month when we do our seminar. I don't really have a time frame on getting blue belt, but its getting close. We generally have a seminar/promotions every 4-6 months. I really want to be at the blue belt level by the time the next grading rolls around, which will probably be February or March. That is also, conveniently, my two year anniversary with Jiu Jitsu! I just want to make Blue Belt before I'm 30.

I've been rolling pretty well in class the last two weeks or so. After going away for a month, I came back handling people a lot better than I was when I left. I'm not killing people, but I'm more active in my rolls. I'm getting more subs on white belts, and getting subbed less by upper belts. Yesterday, I was only submitted once by the blue belts I was rolling with. Of course, our black belt could have killed me like 20 times, but he was just flow rolling with me.

I've been getting better with my guard work too. Something recently clicked with me, and my guard game improved quite a bit. I've always been a guard player...but now I'm actually comfortable there.

Overall, I've been having blast and learning a lot. I'm just so thankful I found Jiu Jitsu. It really has been a positive force in my life, and I can't wait to learn more.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Alright people, I'm back.

I know it seems like I take sabbaticals from this blog very often, and that is definitely true. I'm not a writer by trade, and writing isn't always the most efficient use of my time. However, I should have more time for this old thing now, since I'm officially a college graduate. I graduated a couple of weeks ago with a Magna Cum Laude BS in Security Operations. I know you're probably thinking "Security degree???wtf???", but don't worry about it. I'm not. I already have a fairly well-paying job in the field. My career and my advancement in it were never dependent upon my graduation. I went to college for a couple reasons that were independent of my career goals.

First, and most importantly, I was paid to go to school. I utilized my post-9/11 GI Bill, which paid me a small stipend (on top of tuition and books) to go. I'd be dumb to turn down free money. Second, I went because I come from a very poor family. Nobody else on either side of my family, except maybe removed a few degrees, has graduated from college. My cousins are mostly drug addicts, and my brother is a mechanic. He's good at his job, but has no interest in academic pursuit. I went because it gave me a sense of fulfillment, and I had to prove to myself that I could do it. I sometimes struggle with self-esteem issues, so the fact that I accomplished something completely unprecedented in my family cannot be understated. You're goddamn right I'm proud of it. But, that isn't the only thing that drove me to complete my degree. I probably would have quit if it hadn't been for the birth of my daughter and the death of my sister. In many ways, I wanted to honor my sister's memory by completing something that she had faith in. I also read that children who's parents went to college are something like a billion times more likely to go themselves. I want my daughter to have ever advantage possible.

Anyways, back to jiu jitsu. I've gotten up to attending class three times a week fairly regularly. I've been feeling a little impotent in the BJJ area, since everybody seems to whoop my ass with ease. I know I'm getting better, but two days a week just isn't enough to improve as rapidly as I'd like. I'm not really built for grappling, like some other people I work out with, so I have to train hard to be good. Jiu jitsu is not really an area where I can afford to be lazy. I'm honestly just going to start attending class as much as I can get by with. I just get frustrated when some 16 year old kid comes in and can nearly finish me with very little training. I guess I'm just used to going against very controlled blue and purple belts, and when a strong new guy comes in and smashes...I just don't handle it well. Unfortunately there aren't very many other people in my skill range for me to spar with. I mostly just get my ass whooped. When the strong, spazzy newb comes in and smashes me, I just feel bad about having to work so hard just to not tap.

Though, I guess that survival mindset is a good thing to develop.

My goals in the future are continue to lose weight. I was doing good before my final semester, in which I put on about 10 lbs. Being out of school takes a significant amount of stress and gives me a lot more time to focus on the important stuff, like not being a fatty and working out. I hope to lose 20 lbs by December. I know that is pretty ambitious, because I'm not really that large. I'm 5'8 and weight less than 180, but I'd like to get down to my ideal weight, which is around 155.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

A little something extra

My laptop crashed, so I have to keep this short.

We have a three hour seminar today, and I was promoted to 3-stripe white belt. Can't wait for school to be over so I cam kickstart my training. Other stripe promotions all around, and Rod the Bod got his blue belt. Very happy for him.